Happy early Mother’s Day to every woman who mothers. Some of us mother our biological children, some our adopted children, some our nieces and nephews, some the kids in our classroom, some mother middle aged women (like me) who need an older/wiser one to show us the way, and some of us mother this next generation through prayer. If you are a woman, I believe in one way or another you are mothering- providing, caring, supporting, encouraging, nurturing. You are. It matters.
I have started this post twice with topics that did not bring tears to my eyes, but it’s as if the Holy Spirit highjacked my fingers to have this be the post you are reading today. Here’s the reason for the glistening eyes: I think I need to apologize to women. For a long time I have been with you, among you, in front of you, behind you and beside you. I have been listening to you, teaching you, showing you, and learning endlessly from you. But I have also been incredibly annoyed with you at times. I have stiff-armed opportunities to work closer with women and deemed ‘them’ a demographic I just do not gel too well with.
All the while, of course, I am one of you. And mostly, I’ve just been afraid. I have been afraid of getting too close, getting too far in, getting too hopeful and then getting a little too hurt. So I put up defenses and say, that group over there, they’re not really for me.
(Also) all the while, of course, there is God. The God of the Bible doesn’t really shy away or mess around. He knows far more than any of us do and is pretty unstoppable in His ways to get us to become the people He wants/needs us to be. And He will do drastic things- like thrust us into new friendships and new frontiers where women are the common denominator all around us.
I have never spent more time with women than I have in the last year and here is what I am learning about us:
We are very tired. Every day. And we keep going. God gives a special strength to the ever-tired, I am seeing. And if aware of where the strength is coming from, it’s pretty incredible what a bunch of yawning gals can do.
Our arms are full because of what others can see that we’re holding, but our arms are fuller, still, because of all we hold that no one sees. But God sees. He sees the invisible emotional weight of others. He sees the care- so creatively extended. He sees the disappointment of being misunderstood (again). He sees the tending we are doing. And if we let Him, He will tend to us and lighten that load.
There is often no other road but the humble road. I have seen the gorgeousness of God on display through women lately who have not chosen a very hard path, but walk it with dignity anyway. This road was the only one Jesus ever knew while he walked this earth. The humble road is not flashy, tidy, or always clear. It is just the next step toward love and good deed. So many women I see are walking this road with Jesus well.
But what about men, right? Sometimes they’re tired, heavy laden and walking a humble road too?
Everything in me wanted to say, ‘I’ll write about them in June,’ but I am convicted to say something now. To the gentlemen. The gentle men. Here’s what I am learning about you:
Just one sentence, look or gesture in a lane of authentic, Christlike gentleness can begin to unlock and heal years of wrongs in a woman’s heart. That is the potential of your meek power.
I have been on couches, in doctor’s offices, around tables, and in cars lately where a man displayed a genuine, humble and patient gentleness towards me or another woman in the room and I don’t know you guys, I am undone after. I see Jesus more clearly through His sons in moments like this than any other lately. It is striking and infuses a run-through-a-wall kind of hope in me about the good, good men that are here and fighting with us and for us.
The gentle men around me lately have had a few commonalities. One, they seemed completely unhurried. Two, they listened. Well. Three, their eyes held this broken/fire within them. Brokenness revealed how they must have trudged through hard things instead of numbing or blaming and fire revealed they had seen the goodness of God in the midst of that brokenness, were never quite the same and now freely and gently give it away to others.
It’s okay if gentle is not necessarily the first word you would use to describe yourself or the closest man in your life. Because gentle is one of the two words Jesus used to describe His own heart. So if you want to experience gentleness, pursue the person of Christ. And then, start praying for it. Over you, your dad, your brothers, your husband, your pastor, your coworkers, your sons, your nephews- and while you’re at it- over all the women in your life too.
I want to be a woman who is gentle and lowly in heart. Imagine the stark, compelling witness that could be in a world that can feel very forceful and arrogant.
Praying for the gentleness of Jesus to be rooted and real in me and in you.
Happy May. Happy Mother’s Day.
Until June,
xoxo